Hey guys,

This is a subject that causes a lot of anxiety for a lot of men. I know how it can feel, I used to be the same way. However, with practice and the proper mindset, you can get over this anxiety and learn how to approach women without worry or self doubt.

When you see a group of beautiful women, do you see this?

Wonderful angels..NO!

That is your first mistake! Women are NO angels!

If you see a beautiful woman and instantly assume that she has a great personality, and is amazing in every way, just because she is beautiful, then you are shooting yourself in the foot. Even I’d be nervous if I knew the woman I was approaching was PERFECT. Luckily, I’ve never met a single girl who is perfect so it makes it easy to know that the beautiful one I’m approaching isn’t either.

This is a habit that many men have. Become conscious of it. If you see a girl and say “oh man she’s so hot, shes perfect she’s amazing” flip it around. Picture her sitting on the couch on a Sunday in her “fat pants” eating a bunch of nachos with cheese and chili, occasionally letting loose a MASSIVE fart.

Realize that beautiful women are just normal people. This alone will show you how to approach women with less anxiety. But, how can you talk to them? What should you say?

When I began to learn how to approach women, I learned a ton of lines and interesting things to say to them. It wasn’t natural. Sure, the girls were interested, but they weren’t interested in the REAL ME. Now, when I approach women, I literally say whatever is on my mind or whatever I would find entertaining at the time.

Here is the catch - 22. You gain a lot of confidence by approaching women and having them react positively (success). But, the confidence I have is what allows me to approach a women and say ANYTHING.

So, here’s how to blast past this catch-22. Take every failure as a success. Every time a girl reacts badly to your approach, you have now learned how to approach women that much better. Every time you do an approach you are getting better and building your confidence.

Also, just relax and have fun! That is why you are at the bar to begin with. Learning how to approach women is fun! Go get rejected on purpose, just to prove to yourself that you can have fun being rejected and that rejection won’t kill you. I’ve done that before too.

Learning how to approach women is more about learning how to have fun. Have a ton of fun and feel great inside. Then just go up to whatever girl you feel is attractive and say “Hi I’m xxxx, you looked fun I had to come meet you.” This, said in a fun, non-needy way is guaranteed to start a conversation.

For a lot more on learning how to approach women, sign up for my E-Seminar “How to Approach Any Woman, Anywhere, Free of Worry or Self Doubt!”. It’s a five day course and is completely free.

Check it out at http://www.learnhowtoseducewomen.com/

See you next time!

Kurt Spelling

Yo guys,

Today I’m going to talk about something thats been on my mind for the last few days. As the title states, overcoming social anxiety is easy if you know that the world is a friendly place. But, I find most people do not walk around with this mindset.

I live in a city that is by no means crime free. Sure, there are muggings and assaults and drug dealing and all the TERRIBLE CRAZY SCARY things you see on the news every night in my town. Yet I have never experienced any of these terrible things.

We generate our own reality. If you see the world as a scary place, it will be, and your social anxiety will perpetuate itself. If you see it as a great friendly place, it will be!

The first recommendation I can make to you is to stop watching the news. American news is the main reason most Americans think that the world is this horribly violent and scary place. Every single story is about this person being robbed or that person being raped. This is information you can live without knowing, trust me.

The mindset and outlook you will get by watching the news is misleading. It can also be detrimental to your life. If you walk around scared that everyone is violent and out to get you, eventually they will be.

The other day I walked by a guy who was clearly in the bloods(a violent North American gang), and I said “what’s up” to him. What did I get back? No, it wasn’t a stabbing. He said “whats good man”. Ofcourse, because the world is a friendly place!

How does this apply to pickup?

overcoming social anxiety...get her!!

When you assume the world is a friendly place, and you start expecting everyone to be friendly with you, well that includes girls. Talking to girls is easy when in your deep core you expect them to be friendly with you.

When you are out at the bars and clubs, just assume that everyone is REALLY nice. Overcoming social anxiety is very easy if you assume everyone is nice and your friend. You might even say it to a girl when you walk up. “Hey you looked nice I wanted to come meet you.”

The greatest part about saying something like this is the person will subconciously want to live up to the persona that you gave them. A girl who might not be that nice with the average guy who walks up will end up being a lot nicer with you.

Being in the mindset that everyone is nice and your buddy makes it VERY easy to have a great time. When you bounce around a venue making fun conversation with everyone, people see how fun and social you are. This makes you stand out because most people walk around with the “everyone is scary” mindset.

When you do see the girl you want, and show her that you are attracted, she’ll be eager to meet and get to know you. You represent the fun in the venue, simply because you are not in a fearful mindset about socializing.

So how can you go about changing your mindset from “everyone’s scary” to “everyone’s my buddy”?

A really simple exercise which I advocate is saying hi to everyone. Simply go out and say “hi” or “whats up man” or “hey dude” to every single guy and girl you pass in the course of a day. It will only take one day to realize that the world is a friendly place.

I’ve never once had a negative or mean response doing this exercise. It will really put you in a great mood and put you on the path to overcoming social anxiety. Try it!

To sum it all up:

1. Stop watching the news
2. Say hi to everyone
3. Get the girl!

Stay pimpin

Kurt Spelling

Yo guys,

hello!

Now that I have your attention , lets get into todays topic…How to Get Social!

This is a problem that every person has at one time or another. Every person has experienced it before. When you are working on developing your social skills, you go out every night to improve. Unfortunately, some nights you will find yourself lost in the funk.

What is the funk?

Well we’re not talking about the fun kind of funk. There’s no parliament funkadelic here. We’re talking about that horrible kind of funk, the funk you feel when you are standing on the side of a club or bar and not talking to anyone.

You went out that night to get social, meet new people, get a girl, have a blast. Instead, your standing there like a loser and even worse, you’re standing there thinking “Why am i just standing here like a loser?!” which only makes it WORSE.

This is why the funk can be so deadly. It creates a self perpetuating cycle, where by contemplating the funk you are only increasing it.

So how can you escape the dreaded funk?? It can be easier then you think.

First you have to stop caring about the funk or you will never escape it. This is a key factor that’s SO important. Just accept that you’re within the funk, which will allow you to move passed it.

So once you’re done freaking out, and then accepting the funk, whats next?

A simple visualization process is a great way to bust out of the dreaded funk. Remember that night that you were SO ON? EVERYTHING you said was funny, EVERYONE you met liked you, you had so much FUN, and then you went home with the girl you wanted. Those are the kinda nights we LOVE, and don’t soon forget. You can utilize this past memory to make yourself feel great inside.

While you’re standing in the club, stuck in the dreaded funk, do this visualization process with your eyes open or shut (who care’s if anyone looks, break out of the funk!!!).

Visualize that guy standing right in front of you. That guy who was so awesome and fun, from that night when you were ON. See the energy radiating from him. See that energy as it hits everyone else in the room and they enjoy it, and in turn enjoy his presence. Create the full image of you, as this person who ROCKS, and really feel those feelings that you were feeling that night. Recall every bit of this awesome experience.

When you have fully imagined the you who is ON, allow yourself to merge this projection with yourself. Take a deep breath as you do so and make it all a part of you. FEEL the empowerment of these FUN emotions.

NOW GO. GO TALK TO SOME PEOPLE. Go and just enjoy the moment. Even after the visualization, you might not be fully ON yet. Don’t worry about it, just go and talk to some people and before you realize it, you will be!

Till next time

Kurt Spelling

There are many techniques I have learned over the years for instantly improving male body language. These techniques alone will have more women noticing and becoming attracted to you.

For the longest time, I had simply learned and applied these techniques, and seen the results of them. Now, I have really found their true origin.

Yesterday, I paid a visit to the Bronx Zoo in New York City. The last exhibit we went to see was the “Congo jungle”. This exhibit had numerous habitats filled with gorillas and kept my attention for the better part of an hour. This is where I saw PROOF of dominant alpha male body language, and its origins.

After about 15 minutes watching gorillas come up to the glass and fool around, the big man decided to step out of the area which was out of view of the public. He came hulking out, massive in size compared to all the rest.

He moved slowly, noticeably slower and with more intent then the rest of the gorillas. He then took a seat up against a rock, leaning back with one arm hanging down in between his legs and the other arm chilling at his side.

the man..

“Look mom, he looks bored!” said a small child next to me.

This is alpha male body language at its finest, at its true origins! He wasn’t bored, but he was so comfortable in his own skin, so relaxed in his surroundings, that he had that appearance to the child.

I’ve always known, when you are sitting you should have one hand near your crotch, the other can do what it wants, and be fully relaxed and leaning back in your seat. This was taught to me as alpha male body language. Now I was seeing it, raw and pure.

As I said before, the alpha gorilla moved SLOW. He was noticeably moving at half the pace as the rest of the gorillas. Obviously, this isn’t because he is slow or tired. He is the most physically dominant of them all. Alpha males are completely confident and comfortable in their own skin and would feel no need to rush where they are going.

This applies to all movements. To have alpha male body language, slow down EVERYTHING, even blinking, or reaching out to grab your glass for a drink. Slow down every movement, but at the same time make them more direct.

When an alpha male walks, they know where they are going and they go straight to it. Make each step more powerful, almost as if you were being very particular about placing your foot down in the exact spot it is landing. Same with arm movements, though slower, they are direct and exact.

Another alpha male body language characteristic that was very apparent on this hulking beast was his chest. It stuck out so far compared to the other gorillas, as if to say “I’m here!” Sticking out your chest and having your shoulders rolled back will instantly display confidence to the other sex.

If you believe in evolution, and I hope you do, it makes complete sense that what attracted females for this gorilla will do so for us gorillas. So, stick your chest out and roll your shoulders back. If it feels a bit uncomfortable, you can relax into the position by taking a few deep breaths.

Watching this gorilla move and demonstrate true alpha male body language was simply incredible. With just the few techniques for improving your body language given in this article, you can begin practicing.

Consciously work on improving these aspects, and you will have powerful male body language that will come off as dominant and attractive to all females.

Stay Pimpin’

Kurt Spelling

One obstacle that a lot of men have trouble with is making the girl feel comfortable and at ease in their place. This shouldn’t be a problem if you have properly shared time building comfort and trust with the girl, but sometimes even if you have they will be a bit hesitant and nervous.

There are two major things you can do to ensure a girl will feel comfortable in your house.

1. Have a Nice place.
2. Assume she’s been there before.

Now lets talk about what i mean by ‘Nice’. Money doesn’t mean anything in terms of getting laid. Unless your in to superficial women, you won’t be getting any more action simply because you have a mansion.

Having a Nice place means having a place that follows the triple C’s.

Clean, Comfortable, Cozy. You can have a multi-million dollar mansion that doesn’t follow the three C’s and will not be great for bringing girls too.

A gigantic crack house is still a crack house.

let's make her more comfortable..

When your place follows the three C’s, girls can allow themselves to go into Fantasy mode. They see themselves lounging around in your place, totally comfortable in their pajamas or something. They love it.

Basically, if a girl can’t see herself fitting into your lifestyle, then she is way less likely to have any more then a one night stand with you. This is fine if you aren’t looking for anything more than a one night stand, but if your looking for more you will want to help her fall into this fantasy mode.

Girls are NOT a fan of this! Try to visualize a really hot chick lounging in a messy room, where she is nearly covered in garbage. Pretty hard huh? Almost NO girl would do that.

So keep your house clean. This is rule number 1.

Girls will feel that your unclean house reflects an unclean lifestyle in general. Going out with your hair all messed up will have girls deducing that your life (not just your hair) is in shambles. A house does this ten times more.

Comfort and coziness are also really helpful to making girls slip into fantasy mode. When you have nice furniture (comfort) and soft things like throw pillows (coziness) laying around, girls can visualize themselves relaxing in your place.

Thats a very great place to put a girls mind when shes in the house of a new friend.

Remember again that money is not necessary here. A few throw pillows or a comfortable couch can be purchased cheap. Put a little thought and time into designing your place and it will make it just that much easier to have girls in your life in an abundance.

The other great way to make a girl feel comfortable in your place is to bring her in with the mindset that she has already been there before.

When you bring your good friends over, you don’t walk in and say “Okay, this is the living room. This over here is the guest bedroom.” and etc. You just walk in and plop down on the couch. You should do this with a new girl too. If she needs to know where something is, she’ll ask.

Most of the time they will just plop down right beside you. A great technique to add to this comfort level is to have a “no shoes in the house” rule. When you walk in just say “shoes off” and kick off your own shoes. She’ll not only feel more comfortable but now she knows shes staying for a bit.

Stay pimpin’

Kurt Spelling

Life can be unpredictable at times. It is this unpredictability that makes life worth living, and a unique blessing every day.

Sometimes good things happen unexpectedly and it makes you feel incredible. Sometimes bad things happen unexpectedly and it makes you feel like garbage. The problem is, too many people invest their time and energy into the things that make them feel like garbage and not enough of themselves into the things that make them feel great.

An easy way to avoid getting emotionally sucked into the negatives is to realize that nothing is a big deal. This will help you reduce your overall stress in life, as well as overcome your anxiety with approaching women.

Next time something bad happens, just take a step back and say to yourself “How much, on a scale of one to ten, does this event Truly affect my life?”.

You will find much more often then not, that an event which would have really made you angry, scores lower than a 3. It makes it very easy to not worry about any of the negatives. When you realize that most things, in the long run, are truly unimportant and NOT a big deal, it becomes easy to brush these negatives off.

The more you practice this shift of mental focus, the more powerful of a person you will become. As you begin only putting your time and energy into positive things, while brushing off the negatives, you will find that only positive things are occurring in your life.

So how can this be used to ease any anxiety with approaching beautiful women, like this one?’

yikes!

For you guys who are just starting to approach and talk to women, and who may be getting shot down from time to time (haven’t read the book yet?), use this technique to realize the complete insignificance of a woman turning you down.

It will rate as less than a 0.5 on the life changing scale. And after you have gotten shot down a few times you will realize it rates as a 0.

When I first started approaching women, I did this on purpose. I would go up to them with an approach that I KNEW would get me rejected. Doing this for just an hour was enough to make me realize that it truly rated as a 0.

Now, take a look at the opposite ranking. How much, in a positive scale of 0 to 10, would it change your life if that women you approached was that special girl you were looking for, or just another amazing girl to share your life with? What if she was intelligent, hilarious, beautiful, amazing in bed, inspirational, and a kind soul? Well that could easily rank as a 9 or 10!

My point?

Go for that girl you want to meet! It won’t change your life if she turns you down, but if she turns out to be an amazing chick it will add a ton of joy to your life.

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Get em’

Kurt Spelling

WasssSup Guys,

I’m gonna share two techniques that I personally LOVE using when gaming a chick after having exchanged numbers. These are both field tested tons of times and are a great way to gain a lot interest through something dull, like a text message.

she HATES boring texts!

Are your texts doing more harm than good? Try these!
The Poem Technique

MSG1:Creatively complete this poem, roses are red violets are blue..

Girls absolutely LOVE this one because it’s that dumb, goofy, soap-opera, type message that girls love to respond to. Plus, and a HUGE plus at at that, you are SCREENING her with it. “Creatively” implies that you are judging her on her creativity. SO she is going to (and almost always does) make it funny. I’ve gotten responses like “this is the most random thing I’ve ever been asked to do…lol hi!” and “please be my fuck buddy when i want to screw =P” Some are definitely worth a laugh. Then just transition into normal chat from there. Keep your texts short and to the point, and set up the meeting.

The Arnold Schwarzenegger Quiz Show

This technique is fuckin’ amazing and really makes you realize how much FUN you can have with text message gaming.

Get like 5 or 6 girls who you haven’t chilled with yet, but have gotten their numbers. And then let the games begin!

MSG1:I’m about to offer you a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Her:OMG WHAT!?!?!?!?!(or something maybe a little less enthusiastic…but you get the idea haha)

MSG2:You get to party with me tonight, but only if u can answer one really important question

Now shes intrigued what that “important question” is, and can only help but agree to the frame where she is hoping to win the chance to party with you, which is fuckin bad ass!

Her: lol what is it??

MSG3:Name 6 Arnold Schwarzenegger movies

HER: (If she’s SMART) haha..um predator, terminator 1, 2, 3, running man, twins

MSG:nice u win..bonus points for running man hah, pregamin here at 10:30 hit me up

HER:(If she’s DUMB)what haha no way

MSG:Sorry thats incorrect, thank you for playing

And then you DON’T hang out with them, at least not tonight. Thats the best part about having 6 or more numbers to do this with. The ones who pass the test are now qualified to you and you know they are the FUN ones. Screw some chick who’s too cool to answer a funny text message question like that one. And now that you’ve blown her off, even though she knows you’re going out, she’s going to be looking to get validated by hanging out with you the next time.

Now you’re gaining interest with the text message instead of being just the same as other dudes. Have fun with these ones, I know I do.

Kurt Spelling

Sup guys! I’m going to tell you the MAIN difference between the mindset of a guy and that of a girl, when going to a club. If you’re reading this blog, then you are a guy who wants to pick up girls. You see them, and you want them. Maybe you’ve had success in the past. Maybe you’ve never been laid before ever. Regardless, you want them.

So what does a guy like you (and I) do? We go out to the bars in search of these gorgeous women who are out and looking great. That’s the reason guys go to the bars and clubs.

What are the girls doing? They are out to DANCE. “Screw guys tonight, I just want to dance!!!!” And it’s true. But, only for social reasons. Girls can’t declare to themselves, “I’m going out tonight to get laid by a random guy!!”, because then they are “sluts”. So they go out and have a dance party and really just have a great time with their girlfriends.

WOOO!!!

See, these girls are in their own world, and having a GREAT TIME. Also…see that dude who’s NOT really in the picture, NOT dancing with these girls, and definitely NOT getting laid (unless he breaks through this girl’s arm, which is blowing him out)? Well he’s trying to infringe on their dance party.

The point?

Have your OWN party! “Screw girls, I just want to dance tonight, with my bros!! my Fellas!!” HELL YEA! You’ll be the only dudes in the club who are having fun, which right away does 2 things:

1. You get to HAVE FUN

2. You stand out as the only dudes who can generate their own fun

Girls LOVE to be around Fun guys. Now this doesn’t mean you have to be a big homo dancing with guys all night. I’m not telling you that you have to dance with guys at all. I’m saying, enjoy yourself and your company, no matter who and where it is. Make your own party. Say something goofy to the girl next to you, throw her a huge smirk and a laugh and a bump on the shoulder. Mess around with everyone and do EXACTLY what you want to do, when you want to do it!

This ability to feel great and have a great time, anywhere and everywhere, is the core ability to becoming magnetically attractive to women and a social giant. Much more will be discussed about this in the future, so stay tuned!

Party ON!

Kurt Spelling

Hey guys,

This is something I was thinking about today and I’m not going to lie, I’m about to get a little preachy. Here we go!

Too many people wander through life and let opportunity pass them by. This relates to every aspect of life, especially getting the girl. If one of your goals in life is to become a man that has many beautiful women, or the woman of his dreams involved in his life, then you need to listen to this one piece of advice.

There is NO better time for action, than RIGHT NOW. Read it over again, please.

Many men have inner doubts that stall them long enough to miss opportunities. I have met countless guys who, when a girl smiles or holds eyes with them, will spend the next five minutes rationalizing why “now is not the right time” or “she wasn’t doing that to me” or any countless other self-doubting excuses.

The only way to get what you want in life is to take action towards attaining it. Do you want that girl? Good, go talk to her. It really is that simple.

Realize your own self worth and you will help to eliminate these nasty negative, self doubting, useless thought patterns. Write down a list of everything you are and do that is positive. Learn to appreciate these
qualities and yourself. Reread these qualities daily until you eliminate the negative.

Any time a negative thought creeps in, change it to a positive. “She doesn’t want me, i put on 15 lbs, I’m fat.”

Screw that.

“Man she wants me, i put on 15lbs I’m so cuddly now” works way better.

Go Get em’

Kurt Spelling

Hey guys,

Now that I have your attention…on with today’s post! =P

Eye contact is one of the most powerful tools any man can use when attracting and seducing a woman. Strong eye contact is rare. If you make eye contact, you’d be surprised how quickly most people’s eyes will dart away.

There are a few key aspects about eye contact between a man and a woman that will either have them instantly attracted to you, or instantly repelled. This is, in many cases, the first quality that will demonstrate either high or low value to a woman.

Strong eye contact will turn a girl on. It shows that you are comfortable with yourself and others. A true alpha male will never break eye contact first, whether it be with a man or a woman.

When you make eyes with a woman, never break eye contact first. Even if it has been 10 seconds (which is an Eternity when staring into the eyes of a stranger) do NOT BREAK. If anything, at that point you could stick your tongue out or something silly to break the sexual tension.

This might be very hard for you at first, but there is a simple task you can do which will give you strong eye contact skills. Walk around and make eye contact with everyone. Never break first. If its a guy chances are he’ll just look away, or if he holds it for a while usually a “whats up man” will follow as you pass. If a guy gets serious with you saying something dumb like “what are you lookin at buddy” just say “thought you were an old friend” or something along those lines.

Doing this with girls is fun. Whatever reaction she gives you, you can feel free to give back. If you get a smile, give a smile. If you get a hi, give a hi. Confident girls will hold eye contact and almost always smile. Unconfident girls will look away. Work on this every day and you will have strong flirting eye contact skills, possibly the most important tool for picking up girls.

Enjoy!

Kurt Spelling