Archive for mindset
Being in the moment is something that will help you in all aspects of your life, but it can be particularly helpful for dating. When you are in the moment you convey a lot of attractive qualities to the opposite sex.
First of all, you’re in the moment, enjoying everything around you for what it is, as apposed to up in your own head. When you are talking to a girl and you are in your head, she will subconsciously pickup on this. If when you’re talking, you’re up in your head thinking “Umm what should I say next, ummm would she like it if i did this?” it comes through in the communication.
This is one of the things guys do most that women simply hate. It conveys low value. It shows that you are actively placing her as higher value than yourself, because you are putting so much thought into the interaction with the woman.
To avoid being up in our own heads, we must be in the moment. Now what does that mean exactly?
Being in the moment, essentially means just being.
There are no thoughts, no judgments, no questioning of what is occurring around you. You are embracing exactly what is going on in front of you, without thinking about what has happened in the past, what will happen in the future, if this is good, if it is bad, if you should do this or that. You just are.
When you are in the moment people like you. You come off as genuine and real. You come off as someone who has a calm and controlled life. You appear confident.
Most people do not live in the moment and this is the worst thing you can do for your mental health. If you never stop to just appreciate what is going on right this moment, and spend your whole life wrapped up in the past, or possible future, you will never live life powerfully, be it with women or in any other aspect.
Also, when you are in the moment, you will be enjoying your reactions much more. You will be connecting with people much quicker and more deeply because you are being genuine in your experience. Women will see this quality in you and find it endearing and intriguing.
So how can we begin to live in the moment?
There is a simple breathing exercise that I highly recommend. It will teach you to live in the moment much more often and to appreciate the moment for what it is.
Whenever you get a chance, or recognize that you’re very out of the moment, just take a deep full breath. Breath in deeply, filling up your diaphragm first, and then the top of your chest. As you fill your lungs with air, think no thoughts, but just focus on the air coming in.
Quickly you will be bombarded with no smells sights and sounds of your atmosphere that you didn’t previously notice were there. You will be appreciating the moment.
Doing this multiple times a day will greatly increase your ability to live powerfully in the moment.
Kurt Spelling
Hey again fellas,
Reflecting back on the last few years, I realize I have changed a lot. I am not the person I once was, and simply knowing that makes me more attractive to women.
Let me explain.
Many men will never stop to reflect on who they are and what they stand for in this world.
What are your morales?
What are your dreams and aspirations?
What are your likes dislikes and standards in personal relations, as well as every other activity you embrace?
Knowing who you are, and more importantly making no excuses for it, is what defines the attractive man.
I know men who I think are assholes, but they get girls. They act the way they do and embrace their reality, their behavior, and who they are as people.
Women don’t want a phony. They want a man with a strong reality and a strong belief in himself.
The attractive man knows what he’s about and follows through on it. The attractive man would never tell a lie to impress a girl, or tailor his actions to the likes of another.
The attractive man knows and loves himself.
Maybe now your thinking “Hey, I DO act like myself, and I never get girls! I can’t be me or I’m doomed to stay a virgin”.
This isn’t true. There are just very minor details of you that maybe need some tweaking. Maybe some negative social conditioning got into certain aspects of your behavior, causing you to not act like an attractive man.
This can all be fixed with a bit of knowledge and a desire to learn, and the attractive man will come out of you faster then you’d believe.
Till Next Time Fellas
Kurt Spelling
This has been a question that men have asked for years.
“What are the magical words i can say to a girl to instantly have her interested in me. What is the best pick up line?”
It may blow your mind, but the best pick up line is no pick up line.
Pick up lines do not work. How come?
Well, look at what using a pickup line is saying to he girl. You are coming over to her, and are so interested in her, giving her so much value, that you have to invent a pick up line in hopes of wooing her and winning her approval.
What if she’s not a cool person? What do you know about her besides that she is beautiful?
Beauty is common. There is no reason to give a girl a very high value based solely on the fact that she is beautiful. This is essentially what a pick up line does, and that is why they do not work.
So what is the best pick up line?
“Hi, my name is…” Works great! 
Till next time,
Kurt Spelling
Yo guys,
There is one important mindset that you need to achieve when learning how to meet women, and as the title states, it is one of abundance. For any man who is looking to add more female attention from more beautiful women, you must first make a shift in your mindset.
Now what does a mindset of abundance really mean when dealing with how to meet women?
When you think about your current state of affairs with women, what kinds of statements do you make? What kinds of desires occur?
For example, you might say “I don’t have a girlfriend and I would really love to learn how to meet a great woman. Women never give me the time of day. It’s like I’m transparent.”
The desire is that you want to meet a woman that will make a great girlfriend, but your thoughts and mindset are telling you that you are incapable of meeting a girlfriend.
In order to learn how to meet women, you must make this conscious shift in how you think about yourself in regards to women.
The “How To Meet Women” Abundance Mindset
“I’m so happy to know that there is an abundance of beautiful women in the world who are high quality and meet my standards. If a woman I see is not computable with me, it thrills me to know that there is a never ending supply of beautiful women. I’m glad to know that meeting the exact quality girlfriend I’m looking for is inevitable because there are so many women out there and I’m both motivated to find and deserving of the women I desire.”
Little bit fruity, but think about how much more empowering these statements are than the ones above.
If you repeat this mindset it will become a belief that you hold in your core. This is the first step towards knowing how to meet women in abundance.
Kurt Spelling
Hey again Fellas
I hope you guys are getting a lot out of the articles I’ve been writing on this blog. I’m doing my best to give you guys a ton of helpful information. Don’t forget to leave your thoughts and comments! I’ll be personally moderating every one of them and love to hear your guys thoughts/opinions!
Now on to todays post…
Seducing women is something that many men find tricky. A lot of guys have love lives that are unsatisfying and void of the attention from the quality women they desire.
The horrible thing about men not being able to seduce women is the women walk around wishing men knew how to seduce them!
MOST men are terrible at seducing women. This is because society and social conditioning lead men to believe in two major misconceptions.
1. Women Are non-sexual Flowers that Must be “Courted”
Women have 10x the sensitivity in their sexual organs as men. On top of that, they have a week out of every single month where their hormones rage and nearly drive them mad with horniness.
Women LOVE sex, just as much, if not more than men. Seducing women becomes much easier once you realize that you aren’t trying to swindle them or trick them into sleeping with you.
Women want to be seduced and they want your sex.
2. Seducing Women is a Long Process of Comfort Building
Wrong! Most men think that they are seducing women by talking to them over a long period of time and showing them their great personality, but in actuality, they are putting themselves in the friend zone.
Women don’t date or sleep with friends. If a woman has lost or never had attraction for you, there is almost nothing that will change that.
Seducing women can happen in just minutes. As long as you lead the process, seducing women can become almost automatic.
Kurt Spelling
Welcome back guys,
The attractive man is something that every man is trying to be. Nobody want’s to be Pee Wee Herman, but everyone wants to be Brad Pitt.
Being magnetically attractive to women feels great. Having beautiful women give you love and attention is an exhilarating and delightful feeling.
Did you know that you can become the attractive man just by doing one thing, and it doesn’t involve working out, spending money, or climbing in social status?
To be the attractive man, feel that amazing feeling inside that you would feel if you had everything you wanted in your life in regards to women.
Feel it all the time.
This positive energy will literally flow from every one of your pours and magnetically attract women.
You can achieve this feeling at any time you choose, and with practice, it will become automatic.
There are numerous ways to achieve the incredible feeling of the attractive man, so I’ll just share one. It involves a simple visualization technique.
Sit relaxed in your chair and take a few deep breaths. Close your eyes and visualize exactly how you would like your life to be with women.
See the vision of yourself as the attractive man surrounded by the number and type of women you would love to have. Envision the way these women respond to your every action, and are enthralled by your presence and charm.
More importantly, feel the great feeling that should be bubbling up inside you right now. Feel as if you have already become that attractive man.
Visualize and feel the power of the attractive man and very soon you’ll find yourself to be him.
Till Next Time
Kurt Spelling
Hey guys,
Many men find themselves nervous and anxious because they don’t know how to start conversation with a woman.
This is a common problem. The surprising part, is it has almost nothing to do with what to say.
Pick up lines are garbage. Sure, good routines can work and get the response you are looking for from women, if you practice them and are comfortable with being inauthentic.
Wouldn’t you rather have a woman want to talk to you when you are just being yourself? Me too.
So how to start conversation naturally, as yourself?
When you are a truly self-amusing, self-sufficient male, how to start conversation is not a question. You can literally say anything.
When you have great feelings bubbling inside, feeling awesome within your reality, this energy is contagious.
You can literally say anything, or nothing at all! I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve started an awesome conversation with a high five or pound.
If you would like to know a few great verbal ways to start conversation, I would recommend a genuine “Hi, you looked adorable I had to come meet you!” You’re not hiding anything here, which is good. Women want a strong man who will show his intent in his actions.
You could also try just commenting on something she is wearing or the surrounding area and follow it up with a “Hi I’m such and such”. Conversation is easy. Realize that you are a unique person who’s had x-amount of years of unique experience. You DO have things to talk about.
How to start conversation is not the real question. The real question is how to have an awesome party inside and project your incredible reality outwards to magnetically attract females.
Once you can consistently generate great feelings inside, you will be unstoppable in life, especially with women. How to start conversation will be far from your thoughts, guaranteed.
Kurt Spelling
How to impress a girl is something that should never cross your mind. This is how you will truly impress a girl.
Confused?
Let me explain. Society teaches us to impress a girl by buying her presents, treating her special, and always making sure she is completely happy.
This not only doesn’t impress a girl, but in most cases will make a girl completely not attracted to you.
The truly beautiful women have had so many men do this to them throughout their life that most of them are very turned off by it.
So if beautiful women hate this kind of behavior, how do you impress them?
The only thing you must do is be non-reactive and solid in your own reality. By this, I mean you are sure of your decisions, actions, and beliefs.
She has no effect over your behaviors simply based on the fact that she is a girl or beautiful. Every woman wants to align with a man who is self-sufficient, self-amused, and strong willed.
Beautiful girls are used to barking commands, or whining and having men listen and react according to their will. Although a lot of beautiful women enjoy this, biologically it disgusts them. The man who won’t bend to their will is the one they will be attracted to.
When a girl is always asked questions like “Where do you want to eat?”, “Where do you want to sit?” “What do you feel like doing?”, “Is this okay?” they begin to get disgusted with their indecisive (and now un-manly) man.
Be solid in your beliefs and reality. Don’t worry about how to impress a girl and you will know how to impress a girl.
Good to know.
Kurt Spelling
This is a topic that I felt I must address. After reading and participating in some dating forums, I realized this is a huge issue for many guys.
You spend a lot of time with a girl, with positive emotions flowing between the two of you, and it builds and builds. Eventually, the girl seems different than all others, special.
This is a phenomenal feeling when you two are together, because it makes it such an incredible experience. But as much as it feels great when you are together, it feels equally terrible when you split up.
This is why so many guys have a huge issue in this area, and don’t know how to get over a break up.
2 Simple Steps - How to Get Over a Break Up
1. The Abundance Mindset
In order to really become great with women, and a powerful man in your own right, you must recognize and embrace the abundance mindset. This goes for everything in life, but here we’ll talk about its specific application to women. More specifically, you’ll apply it to learn how to get over a break up.
Realize that there are more women on this planet than men. There are literally billions of women on the Earth. Reasonably, if 10% of women are ‘hot’ in your eyes, that leaves you hundreds of millions of hot women to choose from. Even more reasonably, if only 0.5% of women are hot, intelligent, stylish, confident etc. (whatever your standards are), that still leaves you tens of millions of “perfect” women!
Get over a break up by embracing this abundance. By learning the skills for approaching and seducing the women you desire, you have access to as many of these “perfect” women as you want.
2. Take Right Action
This is the easy step of how to get over a break up. The relationship you were in did not work out. You may not even remember this depending on how long you were with the girl, but before you were in this relationship you were a happy, capable, self sustaining man.
Return to that man. Connect with yourself and realize to get over a break up you must take right action.
What is the right action?
Well, see that cute girl? Go talk to her! Maybe she is the next “perfect” girl for you. Maybe she’s even more “perfect” than the last one! Get over a break up by immersing yourself in the abundance and possibilities of more “perfect” girls!
Once you master this mindset and the ability to meet and attract any women you desire, you will be able to instantly get over a break up.
Kurt Spelling
Hey all,
Over the past few articles, you’ve learned a lot about yourself and women. Seducing women will definitely be something that is easier for you now. As I continue this blog, it is my intention to have seducing women be something you are no longer thinking about, but something that just “happens”.
However, there is one major pitfall that a lot of men come across as they begin to find themselves great at seducing women. This is what I refer to as the player vibe.
Women don’t want a “player”. In fact, I’ve had women test me on this many times. “Are you a player?”
When you are seducing women and too much of the player vibe is present, you are actually hurting your chances. They will question your intentions every step of the way. When I realized I was guilty of this myself, I decided to figure out how to change it.
So how can you make sure to avoid the player vibe when seducing women?
There are two main things will help you avoid this problem.
1. Control your outcome orientation.
When you are meeting and seducing women, outcome orientation is a terrible thing to have. If you meet a girl, and at the first sign of things going well, you begin thinking about your wonderful life together (be it sexually or her as a girlfriend), this is apparent to the woman.
She will subconsciously pick up on the fact that you have a goal, or intentions for the interaction. Subtle communications will come from you that make you seem like a dog if you are already thinking about having sex with the girl, or seem desperate if you are already thinking about having her as a girlfriend.
you can all be my girlfriends!
Avoid outcome orientation when seducing women! Do so by having your goal be purely to have fun and meet new people. I will often get a girls number just to have her as a friend.
Really become a man who doesn’t only loving meeting and seducing women, but meeting people in general and having a great time doing so.
This will help you get past outcome orientation, which I can tell you was a huge sticking point I had for a long period of time. I used to wreak of the player vibe because I was always outcome oriented on sex when I was meeting people.
2. Keep it FUN
This correlates to the first way but deserves its own discussion. When seducing women, keep the interaction FUN!
Even when the interaction has gone passed the meeting, make sure you never go fully into super suave sexual mode. Even during sex I’ll do little funny things to ease the mood and make everyone have a good time.
Keeping the interaction fun while seducing women will keep the mood light, which is exactly how you want it to be to avoid the player vibe.
Push them, tease them, smirk and laugh with the women. Don’t take sex so seriously!
Seducing women is supposed to be fun for both parties. It happens to be our job to lead the interaction though, so sometimes we can forget all that and fall into the dreaded player vibe.
Be the exception by leading the interaction, making it fun, and not being sex-goal oriented!
Play on playa
Kurt Spelling
